I did not suffocate. Instead, I grew.
I am still growing. I am not deteriorating,
I am recovering, regaining my strength,
Taking back my mind. It is more powerful
Than you, all of you. You cannot break me.
I may never regain who I was, but who I am,
You will not take that away. So I am smiling
Because sometimes dreams do come true.
Birthdays pass as do the years and despite
Our fears, we remain intact, we are not broken.
My perfect day was spent outside and in
All the places that truly feel like home.
It was spent with those who care and whom
I care about more than they might ever realise.
It was spent celebrating life and living.
It was every breath suddenly coming so easily.
Realising that happiness is simple. Achievable.
It was songs – dancing, laughing and singing along.
It was photos that captured moments that I want to
Remember until the day comes when I will
Eventually die, but knowing that day is not today.
It was being freely me, ignoring the voices,
The thoughts, the judgements, all the hurt.
It was food, lots of food and one simple present
With one tear rolling down my face that said
I am so lucky, because I was taught that I do not
Deserve nice things, but this said to me that I do.
It said that good things do come, that tears are not
Always bad. I shared a silent moment with the sky
As the sun went down, saying thank you for the
Twenty-one years of my life. Thank you that
My heart is still adventurously beating.
Thank you that I do not know anything but
Happiness, gratitude and peace in this moment.
Thank you to all the forces that keep me going
And that I am still living, because it was not easy
To get here, but I am here, standing now in a place
Where the future actually seems imaginable.
Thank you to all the people I saw on this day.
Let them know how special they are, how loved
They are, because I want them all to know.
No one should ever go without knowing.
These people are what make me: for that I love them.
I am eternally grateful for my perfect day.
For happiness. For simplicity. For honesty.
I am grateful for a twenty-first birthday.