Birthday

I did not suffocate. Instead, I grew.

I am still growing. I am not deteriorating,

I am recovering, regaining my strength,

Taking back my mind. It is more powerful

Than you, all of you. You cannot break me.

I may never regain who I was, but who I am,

You will not take that away. So I am smiling

Because sometimes dreams do come true.

Birthdays pass as do the years and despite

Our fears, we remain intact, we are not broken.

My perfect day was spent outside and in

All the places that truly feel like home.

It was spent with those who care and whom

I care about more than they might ever realise.

It was spent celebrating life and living.

It was every breath suddenly coming so easily.

Realising that happiness is simple. Achievable.

It was songs – dancing, laughing and singing along.

It was photos that captured moments that I want to

Remember until the day comes when I will

Eventually die, but knowing that day is not today.

It was being freely me, ignoring the voices,

The thoughts, the judgements, all the hurt.

It was food, lots of food and one simple present

With one tear rolling down my face that said

I am so lucky, because I was taught that I do not

Deserve nice things, but this said to me that I do.

It said that good things do come, that tears are not

Always bad. I shared a silent moment with the sky

As the sun went down, saying thank you for the

Twenty-one years of my life. Thank you that

My heart is still adventurously beating.

Thank you that I do not know anything but

Happiness, gratitude and peace in this moment.

Thank you to all the forces that keep me going

And that I am still living, because it was not easy

To get here, but I am here, standing now in a place

Where the future actually seems imaginable.

Thank you to all the people I saw on this day.

Let them know how special they are, how loved

They are, because I want them all to know.

No one should ever go without knowing.

These people are what make me: for that I love them.

I am eternally grateful for my perfect day.

For happiness. For simplicity. For honesty.

I am grateful for a twenty-first birthday.

 

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