This world is suffocating me.
The days tick by too quickly.
I am ageing, not gracefully.
I am deteriorating into what
I only imagined this would
Feel like. Losing my mind.
I have dreams. Simple dreams.
I do not think it gets much
Worse than your mind eating
Up all the dreams you once had.
I dream of love, hope, happy.
I dream about the perfect day.
I would sit outside all day,
Sit and watch the sky as it
Changes from sunrise to sunset.
It would be simple. Not too many
People, no drinking, no celebration
Of anything besides life.
I would tattoo the stars on my back
To mark that I had made it to 21.
Who would have thought?
Songs will play, the kind of songs
That make you think nothing,
But only that you have to dance to
And I would dance the day away
On my own happiness with no
I would refuse to straighten these
Curls or cover these scars,
Because they are what makes me
And for the first time I want to
Be nothing but freely me.
I will not dress up or pose for
Photographs, so do not ask me to.
I will sit blissfully as I would like,
Comfortable and happy with me.
There will be no presents, just lots
And lots of food like Christmas.
Fruit, snacks, cake and more
And I will eat because I love food.
I will run around in circles,
Not running away from anything,
But because I cannot contain the
Energy within me and I will scream
And be as loud as I wish.
I will laugh until the tears come
And yell until the tears come
And sit in silence and awe watching
The sky until the tears come,
Because tears, they are not sadness,
They are an overwhelming amount
Of anything: joy, love, hope, happiness.
So I will stay outside, avoiding
The beautiful mess I have left inside
And I will write and draw and read
To everyone around so that they know
That they are here because they are
Special and loved. Here because I
Want them to be. These people
Made me and for that I love them.
I am eternally grateful.
That is all my perfect day needs
To be. Honest. Simple. Happy.