Love Is…

You think I do not believe in love

Because I have not experienced it.

Do not be fooled, I know what love is.

Love is the screaming voice outside

That bathroom door that told me

I would live to see another day.

Love is the hours spent on the phone

Until the crying turns to laughing.

Love is the first time I had the courage

To ask for help and was given a mile,

Even though I only needed an inch.

Love is every hug that I thought

Was going to tear me apart with

Memories of pain, but instead somehow

Managed to put me back together.

Love is in the meals with strangers

That I had no idea would become family.

Love is in the conversations that allow me

To trust and result in the opening up –

The outpouring of every part of myself

I thought I had to keep hidden.

Love is the hand that reaches out

For yours when you do not think

You are getting up off that ground.

Love is in the people who lose sleep

Because your wellbeing is more important.

Love is in the goodbyes you did not

Have the strength to say, that you thought

Would tear you apart, but never stay gone.

Love is in the long-lasting, the meaningful;

It is in the everyday.

Love is in the kindness of a stranger

And the welcoming of a best friend.

Distance cannot destroy it,

Time cannot destroy it.

When I say I do not believe,

It is because I cannot feel it.

At least not all of the time.

Sometimes it is there, burning stronger

Than anything I have ever felt before.

I have experienced love on a full spectrum.

I have done friendship, romance and

I have made my own family.

Sometimes though, I cannot feel it,

Because I cannot feel anything.

At times like that I laugh when people

Say that love conquers all.

It is not conquering this. My mind

Always gets in the way of love.

The good parts of me believe in love.

They always have time for love,

But the destructive forces inside, they

Allow no love to enter in and so this body,

The mind and soul and every part of it

Is left with no love.

The good news is: I know what it is.

I have felt it, very clearly and my brain

Is powerful enough to hold on and keep

Coming back even at the worst of times

For another taste of what love is.

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