for rupi kaur:

i was sent your book a few months ago in a parcel in sparkly silver wrapping paper by my best friend. i honestly did not know what i would be getting into when i read it. i had seen a page that she posted on instagram and i always loved quotes. it was the page on opinions and i remember thinking how powerful so i assumed your book was feminism. it was so much more that that. it was more than anything i have ever known or heard or read but it was everything that i needed. every word spoke to me as though i was reading my own thoughts and experiences. i began to feel like i never had before. i had lived in denial for many years. i denied all that i had been through and reading this book brought it all out of me. i have become undone. every single word tore me apart and brought the suffering to the surface and then it put me back together. it amazes me that words alone could do this. nothing has ever spoken to me like this. it was so profound and rang so prominently in every inch of my body. i became inspired. there was so much comfort. there is such a reassurance in finding out that i am not alone. that another person a human being the same as me is thinking and feeling as i do. you are my inspiration. thanks to you i have begun writing. it is so rewarding and healing. thank you for touching me as you do so many. thank you for your words. i recently watched your ted talk and after reading your book over and over it was incredible to see and hear you. i had been reading and reading with no idea that there was a real person behind all this amazingness. i have watched this talk over and over now and i draw my strength from it. i have taken back my body. i say the words i am a whole complete perfectly designed person. they become believable with every utterance. this is my fighting chance. i carry milk and honey everywhere i go. if not the book, the bee tattoo i have on my back or the words i have in my head and the strength i have in my heart. i have been given the greatest gift. survival. my own survival through the story and recognition of another. i now do everything for me. through writing i know exactly how i think and feel. i know who i am and i choose to make something out of my pain just as you did. my honey bee is my reminder to never let the bitterness steal your sweetness. it is my action. it is how i reclaimed my body. it was how i remembered without hurting because i will never forget. i will not get consumed or caught up. this life is bittersweet. it is beautiful. there is so much good seeping through the cracks even in the darkest of places. there is so much bad disguised as good. so much pain that can be expressed through poetry. a honey bee can sting you but its purpose is to make honey. the idea that we are all so capable of love but still choose to be toxic. despite the suffering and everything we go through i will never stop making honey. i am so glad to have received the story that i needed to read at this point in my life. i am glad for the poetry that i have and will always love and have now been reunited with.

thank you rupi kaur for your words. thank you for getting me through. thank you for teaching me that i am enough and showing me that i can should and have taken my body back. i know now that i deserve to be here and i am welcome here and allowed space. thank you for milk and honey.

love and light.

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