Do you not see the storms in my eyes?
There is damage here. Lots of it.
There are weeks of no sleep and
Struggling to try and eat.
There are tears after tears and
Breaking down when no one sees.
There is a struggle more complex
Than the world ever knows or sees.
I may seem cold. I do not like touch.
It is because of its negative associations.
Between the child abuse, rape, drugs,
Drunken nights and arguments,
There is nothing left in me.
I am exhausted now and I do not know
How to let anyone in. I trust and
The trust feels wasted. Few people
See the goodness or understand.
I do not like people. They are far too toxic.
The good ones are few and far between.
All I want is to be able to love.
If only I could let someone in
Without feeling sick. You all did this to me.
What am I left with but poisoned memories?