I am so happy. Genuinely happy. I am incredibly fortunate. I know that. I will always know that. Look at me. I have so much to be grateful for. I have the most beautiful life. It is filled with quotes and writing. I spend everyday learning. This will be my life, for at least the near future. I will get to continue writing poetry and staring at sunsets. I will have the instruments I need to fill my life with music. I will have the books and notebooks and all that I love. All of my possessions fit into an incredibly small space and they enhance my life, in such a non-materialistic way. They lead me to connections and conversations. I have an insanely bright future. I see it. So clearly. I see that the suffering, it is no big deal. I am an adult now. I have matured beautifully and I am so proud of the person I have become. I love my words and myself. I enjoy meeting people and letting them in.
I am not that child, anymore. Although, I keep having to remind myself this, it will stick eventually. I have not thrown a major tantrum in years. I have not hurt myself intentionally for a long time. I am looking after this body, this blessing that I have been given. I am focused on all that I can do with this short life. All the things that I do not do, will not matter. When I look back now, I see that I have lived. Years from now, I will have lived. I get to choose my surroundings. I am not a tree. I am a bird. I am whatever I want to be, whatever I focus my mind on. What a gift that is. To live in the Western world, with so few constraints. To continue moving forward. To get to live, laugh, dance and go to parties, just because.
I am so free and so incredibly happy. Everything I have always sought and will seek, it will come to me. Here it is, overwhelming me already. I cannot believe my self-awareness. I did not know that I was this strong. I get to count the blessings, of which there are many. There are things I could not do and did not know, but I either achieved, overcame or somehow got round them. Happiness: I think it is a state of mind. We see it as an emotion or physical feeling. I can feel physically bad, but when I focus my mind, I can be happy. It does not come to me or surprise me like the other emotions that I have learnt. It comes when I am still. When I sit, think and focus.
I like the way I handle myself. No massive aims. However, I am striving to change the world. In whatever way I can. No matter how big or small. I am not challenging myself. There is no pressure here. There has been far too much pressure on this young life. I will progress. I motivate myself to continue. It does not matter where I go or end up. It does not matter that I am sometimes unhappy. I will accept it, acknowledge it and do exactly what is needed to move past it. I live in the moment. There are bad moments, though. So I stop, I recognise them and become even more self-aware. From now on, I will release my anger. It is holding me with far too tight of a grip. It was the first emotion I learnt. It is a familiar one, that I like to come back to. I do not think it is worrying though. I hear that a lot, you do not seem worried. Well, of course not. My track record for surviving is still flawless. So what do I have to worry about.
My aspirations can be achieved. I seem to be one of those people who can have whatever they want. You can too. You would be in exactly the same place and position if you were me and had my experiences. I used to be such an idealist, but I am a rational person. So yes, I get what I want. Mostly, because my wants are more simple than you would think. I enjoy the journey, my achievements are simply a pleasant surprise.