I am not saying it is the right or even a good way to be, but I do not do small talk. It bores me quickly. Gossip is common in human conversation. I want to go further, deeper. I like silent moments after intense sentences or full blown discussions and arguments. My silence is welcoming, friendly. You can question me. Sometimes, I am removed, but I am never gone. Ask and I will be as honest as possible in that particular moment. I do get sucked in by my thoughts and my internal world. Maybe far too much, but I am open to anything and everything.

As you can imagine, my time is usually spent staring up at a sky, deep in thought. I want people who can gaze with me or enjoy a silent moment. I want those who will not look bizarrely at you when you want to talk about the simple, naturally occurring things for a while, almost as though they are humans you interact with. That is how I feel about the world. I enjoy it in a unique way. It does not bother me who comes in and out of my life as long as they adapt to this, to me. I am ever-changing. I will not apologise for being me. I owe no explanations, but if you are patient, I will give them.

Honestly, I am special. I will not forget that. I have been told enough times that it is wrong or abnormal, but who told you there was such a thing as normal? I will continue in my abnormality for the rest of my life.


2 thoughts on “Talk

  1. Being this way is not abnormal at all. I am a lot like how you described yourself in this post. I enjoy conversations that have depth in them and small-talk gives me anxiety and is just not me. I love observing people and my surroundings and silence does not bother me or make me feel awkward at all. I love spending time alone with just my thoughts for company.
    I recently read a book which describes people like this. I always thought I was a freak and unnatural until I realized all of these traits of mine are because I’m an introvert and something I can’t change. I’d like to recommend that book to you. It’s called ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’ by Susan Cain. If you choose to read it, I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.

    Liked by 1 person

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