Fearless

You ask what there is to be scared of, as if the answer could ever possibly be nothing. That is unlikely. I am scared of everything – I am scared of my own feelings and getting too attached. I am scared that no one will ever want me for me. I am scared of the daylight, when I lie exposed with all my scars visible and I am scared of the corruption that takes place at night.

Maybe it is not that obvious to you, maybe I hide it that well. I have been hurt before. I will probably be hurt again. I hide it all and you say why not be open, as though it is an easy thing. I struggle to even exist. It is all a façade. It is not a case of a small taboo, it is heavy. I carry the burden and sometimes it spills out. It can be so awful and obvious. I see it in people’s eyes, when they recognise a pain but even they themselves are too scared to ask what it is.

You say these things so lightly, but the truth is that it maybe is too much for you to handle. That maybe your fears are greater than mine. At least I know and face mine, but you cannot even ask the questions or bare to listen to the answers.

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